Fourth of July
by castlenova
Summary: Post React To Contact. Cal hides a secret from Gillian but she discovers it by accident. What will happen when they clash? Awful synopsis - more inside. Callian. T for safety - likely to change. NOW COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

Her hand on his shoulder felt right. She let it linger a moment too long and with any other woman, if he'd met her in a club or a pub, he'd have dropped his own hand to the small of hr back by now. But not with Foster. Because she had her line. The cursed, blasted line which they had seemed to have been doing so well without for the last while.

Reaching the car he opened the passenger door without thinking before moving around to the driver's side. Gillian smiled. Sometimes there was a hint of English gentleman from him. She'd draw it to his attention later.

"I'll drop you back at the office. Someplace I have to go" he said as he twisted the key and the car roared into life. Gillian frowned slightly, looking over at him.

"Everything ok?" He nodded vigorously.

"Yeah, yeah, everything's fine. I just need to follow up on something. I'll see you back in the office before the end of the day." Gillian nodded, deciding not to push it any further. At the end of the day, it was none of her business.

XOXOXOXOXO

As he waited for the imaging machine to pull him out from under the projector he thought about the fact that he had lied to Gillian. He thought about the fact that he didn't feel badly about it even though he knew he should. It was only a white lie but still. He found himself disgusted by the fact that his mentality surrounding lying to her was 'an eye for an eye'.

Yes, he knew she only lied to him about Doyle for her own good. God he knew that better than anyone did. But his own insides were battling against this submission, calling him weak and spineless. He shook his head, the light of the room coming into view. He had to stop this. He would stop it. Once he knew.

XOXOXOXOXO

Gillian hung around a little later than usual that evening waiting to see if Cal came back. She knew something had been bothering him. All the way through the case it had been bothering him, she just didn't know what it was. To anyone else, it was just his eccentric behaviour but Gillian wasn't anyone else.

Shrugging her shoulders she stood up to go look for him. Maybe he'd snuck in unknown to her. As she made her way down to his office, Torres passed by bidding her boss a goodnight. Gillian smiled. Torres was really coming on. She wondered offhandedly if she slept with Loker yet but decided she hadn't. They'd definitely have known.

Walking into Cal's office she found it empty and she swallowed. He wouldn't be back now. Walking over to his desk she placed the file she'd been carrying down on it, ready for his consideration in the morning. Just as she turned something caught her eye. A photograph peaked out from under a coffee coaster at the edge of the table. Though she knew it qualified as snooping she couldn't help but reach down and pick it up. Looking at it quickly, she suddenly knew what had been bothering Cal for the last few days.

XOXOXOXO

_So I have an idea about a couple of things from this episode and though I might write them down here. Let me know if I should continue or not._


	2. Chapter 2

Cal shook his head and took another sip of his wine as he glanced through Emily's homework. Bloody hell, calculus _had_ gotten harder. Em was a bight kid though so the chances were that she had it right.

"Hey Dad?" she called from the kitchen, bringing in the rest of the bottle of wine he was drinking.

"Yes love." He didn't look from her work, pretending to be still looking through it.

"You can stop pretending to check my homework now, I know you don't understand it." Cal flipped over the cover on the book and slid it across the table towards the rest of her books.

"Thanks for putting me out of my misery." Emily smiled and sat down next to him, taking a sip from her glass of water.

"Does Gillian know you see fireworks when you look at her?" The sheer suddenness of her question startled Cal. She didn't even try to beat around the bush, just come straight out with it and now he was wondering if his daughter was in fact more intelligent than he gave her credit for. He reasoned with himself, she did come from good stock after all.

"Why do you ask?" he replied warily.

"Just curious." Emily lied and Cal shrugged his shoulders.

"I'm sure she knows love. She knows more than she lets on." He took another sip from his wine and reached forward to the bottle to top up his glass.

"Can I've some?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah, your mum'd love that. Sixteen year old fed wine by her father. Dream on, love." He took another mouthful of wine.

"I just want a taste. Mom's let me before." Cal was about to launch into a tirade as to why he wasn't going to allow it but her last sentence stopped him.

"Has she?"

"She's not as conservative as you Dad." Cal's eyebrows raised again.

"I'm not conservative. And of all the things I'd call your mum, conservative definitely isn't one of them…" If Emily had been Foster, or anyone else from the office, she'd have seen Cal's eyes light up momentarily, remembering some long passed moment from earlier days, but it was gone too quickly for Emily to spot. He pushed the wine glass towards her and she took a sip, her face contorting in disgust as she lapsed into a coughing fit.

"It's rotten isn't it?" he grinned.

"You drink it."

"Only because there's no scotch in this house." Emily stood up, still coughing, running out of the room toward the bathroom. Cal chuckled to himself. If his main achievement as a parent was to keep his daughter teetotal he'd be satisfied enough. Now that he had another spare minute, he flipped open his laptop again, punching in the password and pulling up the images he had shown Emily earlier. He flicked through them again, his face giving nothing away. He minimised the window and opened another folder just as the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it." Emily yelled from somewhere out in the hallway. Cal nodded and pulled the images back up.

"Make sure you know who it is before you open the door." The last thing he wanted was another stray kid or psycho who'd managed to find his address online.

Emily had only just gotten the taste of red wine from her mouth when the doorbell rang. Calling out to her father she made her way to the door and looked through the peephole.

"It's Gillian," she called back to Cal.

Cal's eyes widened but he stood up and moved to the door next his daughter. He opened the door and was sorry he did because with Emily standing next to him they looked like the archetypal American family, opening the door together and smiling. Gillian raised an eyebrow and said as much.

"Wow Cal, really embracing the American customs aren't you?" Cal rolled his eyes up to heaven.

"Well it is nearly the 4th of July," Emily piped in before gagging slightly. Cal turned to her, worried.

"What's wrong with you?"

"I think it's the wine…" his daughter replied before running off upstairs. Gillian frowned at Cal.

"You gave her wine?"

"She wanted a taste!"

"How much of a taste?"

"She only took a sip! Here, make yourself at home, I'll be down in a minute eh?" He was halfway up the stairs after Emily before Gillian even got the chance to reply. Raising her eyebrows to herself she walked through to the living room where she saw the offending glass of wine next to Cal's laptop, open on a picture of he and Emily. She moved closer and looked at it, smiling at the look on each of their faces, exhilaration on Emily's and pure love on Cal's. She drew her attention to the brain image beside it and it confirmed the emotion she'd read on Cal's face.

Glancing down to the bottom of the laptop, she bit her lip. There were other images. This was a hideous disregard for Cal's privacy but she couldn't help herself. She clicked the touchpad.

Zoe. Minimal brain activity. A small hint of arousal but after that nothing much. She clicked again and took a deep breath. A photo of her, taken from her employee records. And the brain imagery was lit up like a Christmas tree. Strong emotion, she would hazard a guess that a photo of him would trigger the same reaction in her own brain. Reaching down she took Cal's wine and swallowed a mouthful of it. It was slightly bitter but nice. She hit the touchpad again.

Cal and his father. She'd seen this picture before. What she hadn't seen was the brain imagery with it: contempt, disappointment, confusion, a touch of anger. She smiled sadly. She was about to move the images back to the beginning and hope that Cal wouldn't read her misdemeanour off her face when she heard him clear his throat behind her.

Wincing, she didn't turn around.

"How long have you been standing there?"

"Round about the time you flicked quickly off of Zoe." Gillian turned around to face him.

"Cal, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…it was just there and…" Cal held up his hand and walked over to her, reaching behind her to pick up his wine glass.

"Don't worry about it. You're not seeing anything you didn't already know." He shrugged and held up the bottle of wine, silently offering her a glass. She nodded and he moved to the kitchen.

"Is Emily ok?" She was desperately trying to change the subject.

"She'll be fine. She's now allergic to red wine which, if she's anything like her mother, will be very beneficial to her in the long run." Gillian chuckled, though she was glad Cal couldn't see that tiny flash of contempt on her face. He probably knew it was there anyway.

He came out of the kitchen carrying her glass of red wine, the last of the bottle and a bowl of peanuts.

"Sorry luv, only nibbles we've got in the house." Gillian waved her hand and took the glass of wine from him. He sat down at the corner of the table, almost next to her.

"So, what brings you to the Lightman residence at this hour?" Gillian took a sip of her wine and opened her handbag. Pulling the photo she'd found earlier from her bag, she held it up to him. His face contorted into an emotion he didn't hold long enough for Gillian to read.

"This," she said solemnly.

_Like? Hate? Tell me!_


	3. Chapter 3

"Where'd you get that?" he asked, reaching forward and taking it from her. Their fingers brushed as he took the photo and it very nearly stopped her brain from processing her next sentence.

"It was on your desk in the office. I was dropping off a file and I…"

"Couldn't resist taking a peek?" He lifted up his wine glass and seemed to look into the depths of it for a minute before downing a healthy amount of it.

"Cal I know you're angry…" she began but he cut her off.

"I'm not angry." She looked at him, one eyebrow raised and he nodded, shrugging his shoulders at the same time.

"Alright I'm a little bit angry." Gillian looked down at the ground, into her glass of wine, similar to the way he had earlier – the answer must have been in there somewhere.

"So this is what you were doing this afternoon?" she asked suddenly, pointing to the laptop. He nodded.

"Yeah. I get it done every now and then. See if anything's different." Gillian nodded.

"So why'd you come over Foster? Because I know it wasn't just to show me a photo of me and my dad. There's something else." She stood up and walked away from the table, wine glass in hand. She looked out the window across the DC skyline. She wasn't sure how to say what she was about to say. So she didn't think about it.

"Were those scans done before or after your father contacted you?"

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Cal let his head fall back slightly, looking down his nose at her, scrutinising her.

"How the bloody hell did you know about that?" Gillian turned her back to the window to look at him.

"Cal, are you forgetting what we do for a living?" she smirked but only momentarily as she realised it might come across as mocking. He looked at her, face serious.

"What _I _do luv. And you, fair enough. But you didn't read that off my face. No. You read that off my computer." Gillian hung her head again. He stood up, putting his glass down on the table for fear that his hand would grasp it too tightly and shatter it. He walked towards her, willing her to explain herself. She pointed to his computer on the table.

"Based on the brain imagery, I made an educated guess Cal, nothing more. All I did was take the picture from your office and I'm sorry." Cal watched her face carefully as she spoke knowing she was more likely to crack under his scrutinising stare but there was nothing. She was telling the truth. It had been a lucky guess. He turned away from her and sat back down in his seat. She moved slowly toward the table and sat down.

"Look Cal, there's things we need to talk about. I know that you don't trust me the way you used to."

"That's complete bollocks" he retorted quickly. She shook her head.

"No Cal, it isn't. You used to tell me things. Once you'd have told me that your father contacted you. Now, you run off and use expensive equipment to scan your brain, hoping to find some change…" He was shaking his head as she spoke before finally cutting her off.

"No. Praying to Christ I don't find any!" he had inadvertently raised his voice and the shock of it silenced her. He turned the laptop around to her and pulled up the brain image relative to her picture.

"That's today right? Well, here, is one from two months ago, before Jimmy Doyle, four months, six months, eight months, right before your divorce. Notice anything?" He pulled up all five photographs and laid them alongside each other as she sat forward to look at them. They were all the same. Exactly the same. She looked up at him. But, did that mean…? Was she the reason he took the test again today?

"What? You…?" she fumbled over her words, not sure what the question was anyway. He pushed the laptop back out of their eye line and stood up, pacing slightly along the table before speaking.

"When I look at you, I don't see betrayal. I don't feel contempt or anger or disgust or anything like that. I see bloody fireworks for God sake! Every time, all the time. Fireworks. Emily said it was like the fourth of July." Gillian couldn't bring herself to speak, just momentarily glance back at the screen every now and then to see if what she was seeing was real and not imaginary.

"So…"

"So, wherever you got the idea that I don't trust you, it's bollocks." Gillian sat for a moment, allowing his words to wash over her. The evening she had foreseen hadn't turned out as planned at all. But then again she realised, she should have known it never would have. She stood up slowly, placing on his arm and shaking her head.

"I'm sorry I snooped. And jumped to conclusions. But it still doesn't explain why you couldn't tell me about your dad." He pursed his lips in thought and all of a sudden she didn't really care that he hadn't told her about his dad calling. Tightening her grip on his arm slightly she leaned forward and kissed him, just a soft, chaste kiss but long and lingering enough to be more than those they'd shared in the past few months.

Trying but failing to hide his surprise, he glanced at her, at her eyes and swallowed at what he saw there.

"What was that?" he asked. Gillian smirked back at him.

"A firework."

_Ok, so thanking everyone for their kind reviews so far. I hadn't planned on this outcome happening so fast but it just sort of happened so I'll go with the flow – To Franella who was enquiring about my place of origin – the writing is indeed distinctly English – I've spent most of my life in various parts of the country. (Oh, and no offence taken!) More to come soon._


	4. Chapter 4

As if on cue, Emily burst into the room to say a proper hello to Gillian. She'd been highly embarrassed when her dad came up to see if she was ok. But now that she'd got her stomach under control it was time to go back down and play the dutiful, charming daughter. Plus, she really liked Gillian so it wasn't as if it was a chore.

"So I think I'm alright now…" she said as she turned the corner into the living room. And found her dad and Gillian standing extremely close together. Smirking she walked into the room as the adults put some distance between themselves, Gillian tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, feeling the awkwardness. Cal sat back down at the laptop and closed down the files he'd had open. Gillian didn't really know what to do so she turned to Emily.

"Hey Emily. How's school going?"

"Ugh." Gillian laughed.

"Any boys?" Cal looked up at that one, glanced between the two girls.

"Don't encourage her," he groaned, flicking the lid of the laptop closed and taking another sip from his wine. Emily rolled her eyes to heaven and sat down at the other side of the table.

"Nah, you're still seeing Dick, aren't you?" Cal knew he'd gotten the boy's name wrong.

"How many times Dad? It's Rick. R-I-C-K, Rick." Cal raised an eyebrow, threw a glance at Gillian who was smirking.

"Well excuse me luv." Emily shook her head and stood up.

"I only came down to say hi to Gill. I'm meeting Rick and we're going to the movies." Cal stood up as she went to move past him. He put a hand out to stop her.

"You didn't tell me that." Emily rolled her eyes to heaven again. Cal hated when someone rolled their eyes at him.

"That's because I was supposed to be staying at Mom's tonight and she said it was ok." Cal pursed his lips, scanning her face before nodding.

"Alright then. Home before ten" he called as she was walking out.

"Eleven."

"Ten-thirty!"

"Fine." Cal turned back and sat down at the table taking a sip of his wine. There was a somewhat uncomfortable silence for a moment.

"When did your dad call?" Gillian finally asked. Cal swallowed.

"Yesterday morning. I was out. Heidi took the name and number, gave it to me when I came in." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the blue post-it Heidi had written on.

"Did you call him?" Gillian asked.

"No." Gillian said nothing. She knew if she asked he would close up on her and she'd end up trying to use the twitch of his lip or eye or hand to figure out what was going on. She took a sip of her wine and waited.

"How am I supposed to call him Gill? He walked out on us, cut off all contact and suddenly resurfaces now? What am I supposed to say to him? And do I even want to know what he has to say to me?"

"You're the only person who can answer that, Cal." He nodded his head.

"I know, I know. I just, I don't want to have to think about it right now. But I'm going to have to call him, aren't I?" Again Gillian stayed silent. This wasn't her decision to make and she knew that he knew that. He didn't seem perplexed by her silence, more comforted.

"Oh I'll deal with it tomorrow. You want a top-up?" He held up the bottle of wine and she looked at her glass – almost empty.

"No, I better not. I have to drive home." Cal nodded.

"Ok." He seemed a bit hurt, Gillian thought as he poured himself another glass of wine. Maybe he was just pondering over the situation with his father. But she dismissed that. It was definitely something else. She couldn't help but think about their kiss from a few moments ago. He hadn't kissed back. He'd looked a bit shocked but he hadn't kissed back and suddenly she wondered if, by overstepping their line, she had destroyed it completely. She took another sip of her wine then chastised herself for doing so. The last thing she needed was a DUI on top of everything. Cal noticed her pushing the glass away.

"You know you could just stay."

"What?"

"Have a few drinks. Stay here tonight." Gillian bit her bottom lip momentarily.

"I don't think…"

"Ok, never mind." He sat back in his chair and took another sip of his wine. Gillian cursed her earlier impulsiveness. She stood up suddenly, smiling politely.

"I better go." He nodded, tracing his finger around the rim of his glass. He didn't stand up.

"Well I'll see you tomorrow then." He returned her polite small but she noticed it didn't reach his eyes. Nodding, she let herself out.

Within five minutes of Gillian's exit, Emily returned to the sitting room, bounding in, fire in her eyes.

"Dad, what did you do?" He looked up, surprised to see her there. He thought he was going to be left alone to drink the contents of his kitchen.

"I thought you were going out," he muttered, grumpily. She shook her head.

"Never mind that. Did you kiss her?"

"What? Emily, get lost, would you?"

"That means you did!" Cal watched a cheesy grin start to spread across his daughter's face and he almost didn't have the heart to tell her the truth. But he did.

"No I didn't." Emily stopped.

"But when I came in you, you were both…" Cal held up a hand.

"She kissed me. Then you came in. Then she legged it. End of." He picked up the bottle of wine and began to pour again for himself. Emily took the bottle from him, pushing it away.

"Dad, that means nothing! You probably did something. Or said something. Or moved your eyebrow in a funny way…"

"Em, stop! Alright? Just stop it. Go out with Dick, or go to bed or do whatever. Just, give me a break, eh?" Emily slotted her bottom lip under her top and nodded, turning slowly and leaving the room. Cal felt bad for snapping at her but he couldn't help it.

Stopping at the arch of the door, Emily turned back to him.

"Dad?"

"What?"

"You don't have to be a human lie detector to see what's between you two." Cal didn't look up but he was listening and he twitched his head slightly in her directing, imploring her to continue.

"If you've screwed it up, fix it. If she's screwed it up, help her fix it." She stood stock still for a moment, hoping that maybe he might tell her something. He simply stared across the kitchen table at nothing in particular. Then without breaking that eye contact, he responed.

"Goodnight Emily."

_Ok, so a bit of a tricky chapter this. Hopefully people are still liking. More to come soon._


	5. Chapter 5

It didn't take Torres or Loker long to realise that something was off the next day. Gone was the playful flirting an banter that their bosses usually partook in. Cal was overly polite, Gillian overly agreeable and neither of them seemed in anyway comfortable in close proximity. After a brief discussion between them, Torres cornered Gillian in the kitchen just before 11 o'clock.

"So what's going on between you and Lightman?" she asked it straight out. There was no point in dancing around the subject, even though, when she thought about it later, it was direct insubordination – something she would have been fired for back at the airport. Gillian, flustered, stumbled over her words and sent Torres packing with little in the way of vocal information but plenty to remember from her facial expressions. Gillian had shook her head and retreated to her office.

Cal spent the morning in his office, deep in thought, alternating between those of his father and those of Gillian, and what Emily had said last night. He had spent most of the night racking his brains, trying to figure out what had gone wrong. She'd kissed him. He hadn't kissed back due to shock. Had she possibly taken that to mean he objected? He'd then offered to have her crash in his house. She'd backed out of that mightily quick. Groaning he ran a hand through his hair. Why were these things so complicated? Sighing, he picked up the phone and searched his pants pocket for a piece of paper. Reading off it, he dialled, held the phone to his ear and waited. It picked up after two rings.

"Hi. It's me," he said, emitting a loud sigh.

Gillian busied herself that evening by making dinner and tidying up her sitting room. She hadn't been in this new apartment for very long but she liked it. It had a much more homely feel than her house with Alec had done. She had her eye on a bigger place closer to work but for now she was happy enough here. It was warm and inviting, had a good colour scheme and despite what she had feared, she quite liked being alone. Especially when she had contemplating to do.

Had she and Cal really been that off with each today? Torres was a natural. She had seen something. Gillian had left Cal's last night with every intention not to let what had happened influence her work manner but apparently that hadn't worked. She couldn't figure out what had gone wrong. She had kissed Cal but he hadn't kissed her back. Then he'd asked her to stay in his place and she'd bolted. She had no idea what was going through either of their heads.

Cal took a deep breath as he knocked on the blue door in front of him, then took a step back. There was nothing as bad as invading someone's personal space but then he realised that he was going to have to, in order to fix things.

Gillian opened the door slowly to find Cal standing there and she couldn't hide her surprise.

"Cal? What are you…?" He held up a hand, index finger extended, a silent plea for her to be quiet for a moment. He held up both hands, gesticulating as he spoke. Something he did when he was nervous, Gillian knew.

"I had a talk with Emily last night. And she told me whatever I fucked up, I was to fix. Now, I've spent the day figuring out what it was that I fucked up and…I still don't really know but I've narrowed it down to two things. So, I'm going to fix both of them, or I'm going to try and…if they're not what I went wrong on, you're going to have to tell me, luv, because I don't know." Gillian frowned at his cryptic speech and was about to ask him what the hell he was on about when his hands closed around her neck and he kissed her. It was nothing like the previous night's kiss. This one was more desperate, more overpowering, like he was trying to tell her something in that one movement. His tongue briefly brushed over hers before they broke, breathless. Gillian had no idea what was going on.

"What…?" she began but he cut her off.

"You kissed me last night and I didn't kiss back. That was me fixing that. And now I'm going home." He turned and she grabbed his arm.

"What? What about the second thing?" He turned back, feeling himself melt under the touch of her hand on his arm. He looked down briefly, unsure of how to word this next bit.

"I asked you to stay last night and you bolted. This is my way of saying that, I'm not expecting anything, I'm not pressuring, I'm not, well I wasn't just after a one time thing. Don't get me wrong luv, I can be a bastard, I have been. But I could never be one to you." He swallowed hard as she took in everything he was saying, with a brief hint of shock washing across her face.

"And that's why I'm going home now. If I'm wrong and if I haven't managed to fix what I fucked up…" He didn't get a chance to finish. Her lips were on his and they were finally now sharing a kiss that they both knew about. And it was absolutely breathtaking. He let his hands slip to her hips and pulled her tighter to him, her hand on his chest and snaking into his hair.

When they broke, neither could speak except for a breathless 'bloody hell' that Cal uttered, causing Gillian to chuckle into his neck.

"I got it right then, did I?" he asked, kissing her temple softly. She smiled.

"Cal I don't really know what went wrong last night. I think we both panicked, overanalysed things, we both messed up. But we're god now, right?" He looked at her, an evil smirk crossing his face.

"Oh yeah luv, we're definitely good now." He kissed her softly on the lips again, more dignified this time. Gillian let her forehead rest against his for a moment before he took a step backwards.

"I'll see you tomorrow luv." She nodded and watched him skip down her front steps.

"Goodnight Cal" she said, before shutting the door.

_Ok so no sooner do I introduce conflict than I dispose of it again. Hope everyone likes. More to come._


	6. Chapter 6

It didn't take Torres or Loker long to realise that something had changed again the next day. Foster had a twinkle in her eye as she strolled into the office, carrying a large mountain of files but looking distinctly happier than yesterday. Lightman too, had earlier entered earlier and given them each a jovial good morning. Something was definitely different.

As they watched Gillian slink past the tech room, they spotted Lightman coming around the corner towards her and settled back in their chairs to watch what would play out.

Cal spotted Gillian behind the mountain of files and walked over to take some of them. Slipping his fingers in under them he ended up taking most of them, leaving her arms free and unveiling her face so she could say good morning to him.

"Cal, there was no need…"

"It's alright, I've got them. Good morning" he added as they strolled towards her office, Gillian absentmindedly tucking her hair behind her ear, a move neither Torres nor Loker missed.

"Oh there it is. They should have just worn matching t-shirts saying "We Done It" Loker grinned as their bosses rounded the corner out of view. Torres glanced down at Loker, half a smirk on her face

"I have a nephew who's more mature than you." She said quickly before making her way out of the room.

Cal dropped the files down on Gillian's desk and watched as she deposited her small pile on the other side of the desk and switched on her computer. It was as if she had forgotten he was there. Waiting on the computer, she decided to go get coffee. As she moved to slink out past him he caught her waist gently. She looked at him, a hint of something he couldn't quite decipher in her eye.

"Hey, you not going to say a proper good morning?" he teased, his tongue darting out over his lower lip. Gillian glanced toward her door, the blind was up.

"Someone might see."

"So?" He shrugged, "We're the bosses. We can do what we like." She raised an eyebrow at him and was about to explain her theory on bosses setting examples to staff when he closed the space between them and kissed her softly. As they broke, he grinned and gave her another quick peck on the lips before stepping back. Still grinning, he turned and headed for the door.

"Have a good morning darling." Gillian watched him leave, a thin smile on her face. As the door closed she stifled a laugh. Then, remembering her original plan to get coffee, she headed for the kitchen.


	7. Chapter 7

The day soon turned to hell. Cal got a call about a bomb scare at a local school while Gillian got buried in paperwork over some political bribery. Sometimes she hated being the one dealing with politicians. Cal seemed to get the fun jobs. Though trying to find a bomber in a school full of children didn't seem like an easy task either. Her eyes were boggled from the paperwork though. She could do with a drink; she thought absentmindedly but banished the thought from her head. That was how she worked files when she was at home in her own personal space. The office was different. No, right now what she needed was an orange slushee.

OXOXOXOXO

Cal Lightman was getting a headache. No one seemed to know what was going on. There were FBI officers on the scene searching every inch of the school but so far nothing had been found. He was standing outside surrounded by a couple of hundred kids and was wondering why he'd even been called in. Apparently this was the second bomb scare the school had had and teachers, students and parents were starting to get worried. Cal had been called in to help but the only thing he had to go on was one newspaper cuttings letter and a brief 45 second phone call, hardly enough to get an analysis on but better than nothing. He called Reynolds aside.

"I'm going to take this tape and letter back to the office. I want to analyse them and I want to get Foster's opinion on the tape." He held up the tape as if to emphasise it. Reynolds nodded.

"There's nothing you can do here anyway."

"No. Oh Reynolds, get a list of all students, teachers, cleaners, anyone who was in the building today. Run them all, see what comes up, eh?" Reynolds looked at him.

"You want me to run 300 kids through the FBI records?" Cal shrugged and nodded.

"Yeah." With that he turned and left. Reynolds stood there, still looking a bit perplexed.

"If one of those kids comes up, I'll eat my shoes" he muttered to himself before heading back over to the building.

OXOXOXOXO

Pulling into the parking lot, Cal realised that he was starving so he took the lift up to ground level and headed for a few of the stalls dotted around outside his office. Crossing the clearing, he spotted Gillian heading his direction, the tell-tale plastic cup in her hand indicating her need for a sugar rush. He smiled and altered his course to meet her in the middle.

"Hi darling. Take it you're getting a sugar rush?" She smiled.

"When you're snowed down with as much paperwork as I am, you would too." She wasn't annoyed Cal noticed. She wasn't trying to make him feel guilty about never doing paperwork. She was just making her point.

"Well, fancy a short spell away from it then?" Her ears perked up. What was this? She'd been thinking all morning about Cal actually asking her out somewhere rather than just sneaking kisses here and there. She wondered if he'd been thinking the same thing.

"I'm listening" she said, hoping her giddiness wasn't evident in her voice. He led her back towards one of the stalls and ordered his lunch quickly, asking if she wanted anything but she declined. After he paid, they wandered back toward the office.

"I need you to listen to a tape for me. And take a look at a letter. Language is more your thing love." Her face dropped a little, not enough for him to catch it she thought, but he did. He said nothing.

OXOXOXOXO

The letter had proved useless. There was nothing to be taken from it except bad grammar, which, Gillian pointed out could mean a number of things.

"It could be on purpose but in most of these cases, the culprit wants us to think he's smarter than us so it's unlikely." Gillian sat down in the video room. Cal remained standing. Everyone else appeared to be out to lunch. Cal loaded up the tape and stood behind Gillian as she listened to it. As it finished she rewound it and listened again. Then again.

"That's not a New York accent" she said finally.

"No I didn't think so either. He's putting it on." Cal agreed. Gillian shook her head.

"It's not easy to imitate an authentic New York accent" she said, using the mouse to pull the tape back again. Suddenly Cal started talking behind her.

"I don't know about that. I mean, you live somewhere long enough you start to pick up the twang." Cal spoke in a perfect New York accent and Gillian looked up at him. He shrugged.

"Maybe that's just me." He smirked as he saw her look of amusement. She listened to the tape once more but shook her head.

"I wish I could be more helpful" she said finally, "but the tape doesn't tell us anything the letter hasn't already." He nodded. She straightened her back and he heard something crack somewhere. He wasn't surprised. Slouched over paperwork all day couldn't be good for her. Without thinking, he let his hands rest on her shoulders, his thumbs kneading the knots in her neck loose. He heard her sigh contentedly and he increased the pressure.

"Cal. Loker and Torres are going to walk in that door any minute." Frowning, he knew she was right and he stopped, moving around to lean on the desk in front of her.

"To be continued?" he asked hopefully. She smirked and nodded.

"I can live with that." He nodded and crossed his arms. Suddenly a thought occurred to him.

"Gillian, you said that the grammar in the letter was bad right? But it probably wasn't intentional if the usual profile is anything to go by, yeah?" Gillian nodded, waiting patiently to see what he was getting at. He held up the letter.

"Look at it again. The grammar pattern…does it look like it could be caused by dyslexia?" Gillian read the letter again. Twice. He grinned when he saw her shaking her head.

"No. In fact I'd say it looks more like…"

"…More like a kid wrote it." Cal finished and she looked up at him, nodding her head. He grinned down at her.

"Thanks luv. Gotta go." He darted past her and opened the door as she stood up. He looked back before darting through the door.

"By the way, dinner tonight, pick you up at eight." With that he ran off, leaving Gillian with a wide grin on her face. It was still there when Torres walked in a moment later.

"What's got you so happy?" she asked, curiously, having seen Lightman dart out of the room just before she came in. Gillian glanced at her, composure regained.

"Hmmm? Oh, 6-figure case. We can afford to eat again." With that she gathered her things and left the office.

But she hadn't fooled Torres.


	8. Chapter 8

Cal Lightman sighed as he let the warm water run down his face, chest and back. It had been a long day but he was finally free of it. It had turned out that his assumption about the kid writing the letter was right. A quick scan of recent expulsion had pulled up a young kid whose brother had a track record in arson devices and he'd obviously turned to explosives with the news that his brother had been kicked out. He groaned as he lathered some shampoo into his hair. It had been one of those 'fight the system' cases, the so called lower classes standing up against the authority, the oppressor even though the expelled kid had used a younger child as his personal punching bag.

Cal hadn't gotten back to the office at the end of the day but he had called Gillian at about 4:30 to check that she was ok for tonight, having not given her the chance to accept or decline at lunchtime earlier in the day. She had gracefully accepted and informed him that she'd be ready to go at eight. That was a lie. He knew by the tone in her voice. He also knew because he knew women. Zoe used to say she'd be ready in ten minutes. What she actually meant was she'd be ready to do her make up in ten minutes. That would take ten minutes and then she'd be ready to go. It was the clever part of her game. Everything worked in ten minute intervals so she could plead innocence at the end and claim not to have understood his instructions.

Washing the last of the suds from his hair he turned off the shower and reached for his towel.

OXOXOXOXOXO

Gillian Foster was behind schedule. She was just sitting down to do her makeup when the doorbell rang. Springing up onto her heels she darted to the door and looked through the peephole. From what she could see, Cal looked smart. She opened the door and turned away again.

"Sorry, I'll be ready in five minutes," she said, disappearing off into her bedroom leaving him to make himself at home.

"It's alright. I knew you wouldn't be ready." He moved into the sitting room. He felt like he should have had flowers of chocolates or something corny like that. But then he banished the thought from his head. That stuff wasn't important. He glanced in the mirror and quickly undid the third button down on his shirt. He glanced at then redid it. Pursing his lips, he undid it again and contemplated it. Frowning, he redid it…

OXOXOXOXOXO

Gillian finished applying the last of her mascara and quickly applied some lipstick, a deep raspberry colour that made her lips look natural but inviting. Or at least that was what she thought anyway. Standing up, she checked herself in the full length mirror one last time. She wore a simply navy dress with a figure flattering frill down the front. It fell to just above the knew and she wore a pair of simple but elegant navy shoes with it. She wasn't overly dressed up but she thought she looked good. Knowing Cal, she would be way overdressed. Though she had caught half a glimpse of him as he came in. He seemed to have been wearing a suit of sorts.

She decided it was time to go investigate.

OXOXOXOXOXO

Cal was still deliberating over how many buttons to close when Gillian walked into the living room. Seeing him debate with himself she stifled a laugh and he looked up to take in the sight of her. His eyes widened slightly (along with his pupils).

"Bloody hell…" he gasped and she walked over to him.

"Am I ok?" He raised his eyebrows so high he wondered if they'd disappeared into his hair line.

"Yeah, you'll do." He grinned and she slapped him playfully. He looked back at the mirror.

"Here, two buttons or three undone?" She looked at him with two buttons undone. She looked at it and him for a moment before stepping in and undoing the third button.

"Aye aye, bit early for that luv." She smiled and stepped back to look at him but immediately shook her head.

"Definitely two. You look like a 70s pimp with the three open." She stepped in close to him to redo the button for him. He watched her hungrily as she did the button for him. As she finished, he felt her hands fall to his shoulders and he leaned in to kiss her softly. Stepping back he took her hands in his.

"You ready to go?" She nodded and allowed him to lead her out to his car.

OXOXOXOXOXO

Cal had chosen the most expensive restaurant he could get a table for at short notice. Sitting now, listening to Gillian make approving noises as she tucked into a chocolate gateaux he decided that it was worth every single cent. On his part, he couldn't fault the food. Even the apple desert…thing that he was having was taking his fancy.

Their conversation, for the most part, had been work related. They both agreed that Torres and Loker knew something was up.

"I am telling you Cal, they know something's going on…"

"Well good, if they can't spot that one I'm definitely paying them too much!" he had grinned and she laughed at the fact that he didn't seem to care how obvious their change in relationship was to their colleagues.

Cal paid the bill despite Gillian's protests.

"Here luv, I asked you out so I'm paying." It was a valid argument she supposed. As they walked back toward the car, he took her hand in his and she could just make out the hint of a smirk on his face in the pale light cast down by the streetlights. She could tell he was really enjoying himself. She gave his hand a brief squeeze to communicate the same to him and he turned to look at her.

"Do you want to get a drink somewhere?" he asked and for the first time since their chat in his house the other night she realised that he seemed nervous. Cal Lightman, infuriating flirt and woman magnet was nervous.

"No." she said finally and she felt his hand loosen somewhat in hers. She stopped walking and pulled him back towards her. He looked at her, their eyes locked onto each others.

"I've got wine in my house," she said pointedly before walking on again. He raised an eyebrow to himself but didn't argue. If anything, he quickened his pace just a little bit.


	9. Chapter 9

As they walked through her front door Cal turned to close the door behind them as Gillian made her way through to the kitchen, kicking her high heels into a corner as she did. He smirked as he followed her movement and out into the kitchen. Her wine rack sat just above the fridge and she reached precariously up to pull a bottle down from it.

"Red I presume?" she asked, balancing on her tip toes. He chuckled and answered yes as her hand wrapped around the neck of a bottle which she had already decided before looking at it that they would drink. She wasn't going back up there again. Turning around she saw that he wielded a corkscrew and had placed two glasses on the kitchen top.

"Allow me," he said in his suavest tone and he took the bottle from her, uncorking it expertly. She picked up the two glasses and he followed her through to the living room.

OXOXOXOXOXO

About an hour later, Gillian sat with her back to the arm of the sofa and her legs outstretched across his. His hand absentmindedly stroked up and down her leg as they laughed and chatted together. Cal had half expected things to be awkward – two friends on a date – it could have ended terribly he knew but this wasn't. In fact this was possibly the best and most relaxed he'd ever been on any social outing.

Placing his empty glass down on the table, he took her foot in his hands and softly massaged them, hearing a soft moan erupt from her throat. Loosening his grip, he looked up at her.

"How's your back, luv?" She smirked, remembering their earlier incident in the video room.

"Why? Have you got healing hands?" she teased.

"Well, I'll give it a go. Come here." He guided her up towards him and signalled her to sit in between his legs. Then slowly he let his hands fall onto her shoulders and gently massage her shoulder blades through her dress.

"How's that?" he asked though he had an idea of her answer. She simply nodded and moaned lightly again and he wondered if he couldn't be undone just by listening to her. As he moved his hands more to work on her shoulders, he leaned forward and placed a soft kiss to the base of her neck, feeling her shiver under his lips, the feel of lips on skin caused the bone underneath to react. And then he couldn't do anything else but continue kissing her. His hands ceased their actions completely and instead trailed down her back and wrapped around her front as he turned his head and kissed her neck, her collar bone and the space just below her ear.

For her part, she didn't protest at the sudden seizure of pressure on her shoulders. Instead she let one hand fall onto his where they were clasped in front of her stomach and the other to his thigh where she traced circles through the fabric. He groaned at even the slightest touch of her hand on him and gently bit her earlobe, loosening his hands around her waist.

"I should probably go," he whispered suddenly. He felt her ministrations on his thigh falter.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because if I don't go now I never will." He placed a kiss to the back of her neck, again drawing a shudder from her. In all honesty he hoped she'd tell him to stay. He hoped she'd just give him free run to do as he liked with her and bloody hell but he had a number of things he'd like to do with her. But this wasn't like being with anyone else. And while he might successfully turn anyone else's reluctance into submission, he would not do that to Gillian. He felt her slipping away from him and he hid his look of disappointment. She stood up and turned to face him. He looked at her and nodded, moving to stand up.

Suddenly he felt her hand on his shoulder, pushing him back into the couch. He grinned up at her as she balanced on one knee between his legs, leaning down and kissing him softly.

"I know you don't want to but I think we should take it slow," she said running her tongue over his bottom lip. He grinned at her as he caught it between his teeth, drawing her into another kiss, simultaneously pulling her down on top of him.

"You know you're right about that. I don't want to go slow. But for you luv, I'll go bloody backwards…" he leaned forward and nipped her lips with his again. She tried to push herself off him but succeeded only in grinding against him. He groaned loudly.

"You keep doing that luv and I'm going to leave here embarrassed." She smiled down at him before releasing herself from his grip and standing up. He took a moment just to look at her, to take in the sight of her before he too stood up.

Together they made their way to her front door, he checking his pocket to ensure that he had his keys. Before she opened the door, she stepped in close and kissed him softly.

"Goodnight Cal," she smiled and he suddenly realised that it had been a long time since he'd seen _that _smile beam off her face. It made him feel immensely proud that he was the one that had put it there. He took a breath, allowing his hands to settle on her hips.

"You know what I miss about England? Sometimes? Times like this?" She shook her head and gave him a quizzical look. He pulled her close to him, their bodies touching, their lips mere centimetres apart.

"I miss our…far more agreeable form…of goodnight kiss." He smirked before landing his lips on hers, tongue seeking entry straight away, deepening the kiss. Cal let one hand trail up her back into her hair while the other held in her place at the small of her back. When they broke they were both breathless. Silently he reached and opened the door, kissing her once more, briefly on the lips. He stepped outside the door watching her, still unable to speak.

"Cal?" she called as he was turning away. He looked back, eyebrow raised.

"I think I quite like your English customs." On that note, he grinned back at her, laughing quietly to himself.

"Goodnight luv."


	10. Chapter 10

Emily was still up when Cal sauntered in through the front door, whistling lightly to himself. He hadn't realised his daughter was still up until she stepped out from the kitchen with an accusatory look on her face.

"What are you so happy about?" He jumped, not realising she was there.

"Jesus Emily, are you trying to give me a heart attack? I'm not getting any younger, you know!" He grasped at his heart as if to emphasise the point before sitting down at the kitchen table, inviting her to do the same.

"Wow, you're all dressed up. Where were you?" Emily tried to sound nonchalant but it didn't fool Cal. Then again, he couldn't fool _her_ either. It might be best to be honest with her. The thought somewhat scared him.

"If you must know, Gillian and I had dinner together," he said with a smug look on his face. Emily's eyes widened slightly.

"Really? How'd it go? Did you kiss?" Cal took stock of the questions she'd asked so he could get quick answers in and change the subject.

"Yes. It was good. And yes. Now go to bed, you've got school tomorrow." He knew before he'd even finished that this wasn't going to work. The excited squeal when he mentioned their 'kiss' had told him that.

"What kind of kiss was it?" He stared at her, frowning.

"What do you mean, what kind of kiss was it? It was a good kiss, what else could it be?" Emily frowned at him as if he was the oldest person on the earth.

"Dad. Come on. It could have been a bad kiss."

"It wasn't."

"Well was it…polite and close-mouth or did you…" Cal suddenly panicked, not wanting to have this conversation with his daughter all of sudden.

"Em, if you stop right there, I'll add twenty dollars to your weekly allowance. Just stop telling me things and expecting me to accept that you're not so innocent anymore…" The words almost choked him. And Emily, it appeared.

"Dad! Stop making assumptions about me!" She stood up but Cal caught her arm, pulling her into a hug.

"Tell you what, we'll both shut up. You go to bed, I'm going to have a quick drink and we'll say no more about it, eh?" Emily grinned into his shoulder.

"Perfect." She turned on her heels and made her way towards the stairs. Cal suddenly thought of something.

"Oh and Em? Not a word of this conversation to Gill, you understand? Everything's still a bit up in the air." Emily nodded.

"Ok Dad." Then she turned and headed upstairs. Cal watched her as she went, knowing instinctively that there was no way in hell that Emily _wouldn't _say something to Gillian.

_Ok, short chapter there. I haven't forgotten the actual plot that I put in place at the start. It will eventually rear its silly, continuous head again._


	11. Chapter 11

Cal's good mood managed to last until about midday the next day in the office. After withstanding a good, extensive quizzing from Torres, he'd run into Gillian in the elevator and managed to steal a quick kiss before she made her way to a meeting with some of the financial people – the ones that bored him, naturally.

OXOXOXOXO

He'd been sitting in his office, studying some research when the phone call came through from Heidi.

"Yeah?" He'd answered in his usual lazy tone, not really paying much attention to what Heidi was saying until that name was mentioned. He sat forward in his chair.

"Right. Take down the details. I'll be down at front desk in five minutes. And get hold of Foster for me, will you?" With that, he dropped the phone back into its cradle, sitting shock still for a moment before standing up and feeling around the table for his cell and his keys. He had just laid his hand to his keys when Torres entered his office for the second time that morning.

"Not now Torres, I'm busy." Torres raised an eyebrow.

"I have a case," she said, voice faltering slightly at his briskness. He looked at her.

"Good. Get to work."

"Don't you want to hear about it?" He shook his head.

"Nope. I'm sure you'll be able to handle it." With that he whisked past her, leaving her standing alone in his office, not for the first time, highly confused.

OXOXOXOXOXO

Torres pushed open the door to the conference room where Eli Loker was sitting watching some video footage, the footage from Torres' new case.

"Have you seen Lightman today?" she asked him, sitting down in the chair next to him. He turned to her.

"Just a minute. He walked by here like a man possessed." Torres nodded her head.

"Is it just me or are things getting weirder around here?" Loker protruded his bottom lip in thought and shook his head.

"No more so than usual." Torres frowned and looked at the tape.

"Press play."

OXOXOXOXOXO

It was after 2 when Gillian got Cal's message. Five of them to be precise. All of them telling her to call him. She frowned. She noticed Heidi had been trying to get in contact with her as well. It must have been serious. Cal had obviously told Heidi to call her but had also tried calling himself. Something was definitely wrong. She pressed 'call' on her phone and dialled in Cal's number, biting her lip in nervous anticipation.

Cal picked up after five rings.

"Hello?"

"Cal. You were looking for me?" There was a pained silence for a moment, during which time Gillian tried to read what she'd heard in Cal's voice but it was too little.

"Yeah. Something's happened…."

_I know, I'm evil but it seemed the best place to cut off or risk having mammoth chapter syndrome._


	12. Chapter 12

For a few moments he said nothing. Gillian was a little worried.

"Cal? Cal, what's going on?" Gillian opened her car and sat into it, waiting for him to respond.

"Can you, can you pick up Emily for me? I'm a bit tied up this afternoon and I won't get there before she's finished." Gillian frowned. Something was very wrong.

"Of course I can but what's going on Cal? You can tell me."

"It's my dad. He's been taken into hospital. Respiratory problems. It doesn't look too good, Gill." Gillian bit her lip. She knew this would grate on him, especially given the conversation from the other night.

"Where are you Cal?"

OXOXOXOXO

Gillian pulled into a free space in the hospital's underground car park and made her way toward the lift. Emily didn't need to be collected for another hour so she had decided to come and make sure that Cal had eaten and done all the things a normal human being would need to do in such situations.

When the lift stopped at the fifth floor she stepped out and followed the directions he had given her. That was another thing that significantly increased her worry. He'd accepted help. She rounded the corner and found the room door, number 54, open. Cal sat in the chair next to the bed; Thomas Lightman was asleep next to him. She walked in and smiled meekly.

"Hi" she said, placing the bag containing a sandwich and some fruit down on the table next to him. He stood up.

"Thanks for that luv." She nodded and gave him a hug, letting him squeeze her tightly. When they broke he offered her the chair he had been sitting in.

"How is he?" Cal shrugged.

"Breathing's stable now but only when he's on this thing." He sighed as he hunched down next to her. "His lungs are shutting down Gill. It's cancer but at his age, there's really nothing they can do except…make him comfortable." Gillian bowed her head, reaching her hand across to squeeze his shoulder. She looked at him.

"Can he speak?" Cal shook his head.

"No. Not while the tube is in. But he can listen and soon as he's awake I'm going to take the opportunity to talk to him with interruptions." Gillian bit her lip. There was a hint of bitterness in his voice but she knew from his face that it was more shock than anything.

"Zoe's on her way back from New York" he said suddenly. "They had great time for one another." Gillian nodded. She remembered Cal mentioning that before.

"Do you want me to bring Emily here after I pick her up?" she asked. Cal shrugged again.

"I don't know. First time meeting her granddad and it's to say goodbye to him. Not really fair, is it?" Gillian shook her head. It wasn't fair. Cal suddenly nodded his head.

"Yeah, bring her here. But don't tell her alright? Just tell her, I don't know, make something up." Gillian nodded and stole a glance at Cal's father. He was sleeping in what seemed a peaceful manner if you could remove the wheezing sounds coming from his chest. She turned back to his son.

"I'm really sorry Cal." He just nodded.

OXOXOXOXOXO

Emily Lightman spotted Gillian's car from across the road and carefully made her way across to the passenger seat.

"I take it my dad's off doing something stupid and dangerous and he sent you to come get me, right?" she said, closing the door and buckling her seatbelt. Gillian smiled. She was her father's daughter in every way, she realised.

"Something like that yeah." She started the car and pulled out into the right lane of traffic. Emily frowned.

"Are we going a different way to the office?" Gillian shook her head.

"Your father's at the hospital. He wanted me to bring you over." Emily's face fell as she stared out the front window. Gillian gulped. Maybe the direct approach wasn't the best idea. Just as she was about to clarify, Emily looked at her.

"Just how dangerous and stupid was the thing he did?" Gillian stifled a laugh as she turned to her right.

"He's fine Emily. But I don't know anymore than that." She hoped Emily wouldn't spot her lie. If she did, she didn't say anything.

OXOXOXOXOXO

"Has something happened to Mom?" Emily asked as they made their way to the elevator. Gillian shook her head.

"I don't know Emily." At this Emily stopped.

"You do know Gill. Please just tell me what's going on." Gillian faltered slightly.

"Emily, it's really not my place to say anything. Your dad's upstairs, he'll tell you everything but I'm not going to betray his trust." Emily nodded, seeming to accept this explanation just as the lift doors opened. They stepped inside and Gillian pressed the button for the fifth floor. As the doors closed, Emily spoke again.

"So what's going on between you and Dad?"

"Emily!"

_Ok so there's a new chapter explaining what's going on. Hopefully people are still following. R+R!_


	13. Chapter 13

Cal heard Emily and Gillian before he saw them. Gillian sounded outraged and Emily, well, Emily was being Emily. He stood up and walked to the doorway of the room, peering out to see his daughter and his partner striding towards him, Gillian's face looking somewhat glum. Emily ran up to him.

"Dad, what's happened? Is it Mom?" Cal shook his head, glancing at Gillian.

"No luv, your mum's fine. She's on her way. It's your granddad," he said, biting his lip. Gillian wished she could just reach out and grasp his hand but reckoned he had enough to explain to Emily already without that too.

"Edward?" Emily's eyes widened and Cal shook his head.

"No, no luv. Thomas, my dad." Emily looked at him, then peered around him into the room at the sleeping man in the bed. Her mouth fell open and she walked in past him. Cal took a deep breath, closing his eyes. This was going to be more difficult than he expected. He felt his lips curl slightly into a smile as Gillian's hand found its way into his and squeezed it tightly. Without opening his eyes he whispered, "Thanks luv".

OXOXOXO

"This isn't fair." Emily said suddenly, causing both Cal and Gillian to look up from the spot they had targeted on the floor. Cal nodded his head.

"I know luv." Emily shook her head.

"I've never met this man. Why haven't I met him before now Dad? Why, why, why'd you choose now?" Gillian's face fell slightly. Cal shook his head.

"I didn't choose it luv. I didn't know he was sick." Emily stood up and paced the room, clearly very upset. Gillian almost felt the need to stand up and hold her still but knew it wouldn't help her. Cal watched his daughter pacing her issues out on the hospital floor.

"But why? How, how did you not know? And why am I the last to know? And what am I supposed to say or do or think when, when this is all I get. When this is all you've given me?" Both Cal and Gillian could hear the emotion cracking in her voice. Cal stood up, reaching out for her.

"Em…" But she pushed him away.

"No Dad, this isn't ok. This isn't fair." With that she turned and bolted from the room, running into a surprised Zoe as she did. But she didn't stop, she just kept running. Zoe looked at Cal, confused.

"What's going on?" Cal looked at the ground, a bit sheepish.

"She kinda freaked out when I told her who he was." He nodded his head back towards his father in the bed. Zoe nodded, 'oh'. Gillian stood up then, speaking directly to Cal.

"I'll go find her." Cal nodded.

"Thanks luv." Gillian smiled politely at Zoe as she pushed past her out into the hospital corridor. She always felt suffocated when Zoe walked into a room with Cal. Besides, she was worried about Emily.

OXOXOXO

Zoe sat in the bedside chair, shaking her head slowly and sadly.

"I'm really sorry Cal," she said without looking up and he nodded, sitting down on the corner of the end of the bed.

"You know, everyone's sorry. Me, you, Em, Gill, everyone's called to say how sorry they are…But I have to wonder, if _he's _sorry." Cal bit the inside of his cheek, glancing down at the man in the bed. Zoe tucked her bottom lip under her top.

"Cal, it's not the time or the place." She said in a warning tone.

"If this isn't the time and place then there isn't one Zo. There's not going to be another time or place. This is it. End of the road." He said, swallowing hard. Zoe shook her head.

"You can't do that to him Cal…"

"I need to know Zo, I think I have a right to know…" Zoe stood up, pointing a finger at him.

"We all have rights Cal, we all have things we need to know but you know what? Sometimes we don't get our rights. Sometimes we don't find the things we need to know. Sometimes things just don't go our way. Now your dad is dying. You need to put aside your differences and be there for him. Even if he didn't do the same for you." Somewhere in the middle of Zoe's rant, Emily and Gillian had re-entered the room unknown to them. And while Emily hadn't understood much of what had been said, Gillian had caught the general point of it and was suddenly wishing the ground would swallow her up. Zoe spotted Emily as she paused to draw breath and walked over to embrace her. Cal, Gillian noticed, looked a little bit ashamed. Though she tried, he wouldn't catch her eye and she gave up.

OXOXOXO

Cal had managed to procure two more chairs from the nurses station and had taken up his position on the end of the bed. Gillian sat uncomfortably in the chair closest to him, wishing she could go home but not quite being able to bring herself to do so. Zoe stroked Emily's hair as the girl just stared at the bed.

A sudden movement next to his thigh alerted Cal to the fact that his father was awake. He stood up as his father's eyes fluttered open. Despite all his anger, he found himself blinking back tears.

"Hello dad." His father simply blinked and attempted to nod. Cal laughed.

"Yeah, you look shit too," he replied, realising that his last conversations with his dad would, ironically be understood through the science he'd never approved of. Cal smirked. It was an irony he was sure wouldn't be wasted on the man in the bed. He turned and gestured for Emily to come to the bed.

"I want you to meet someone Dad. This is my daughter, Emily." Emily stepped up to the bed and smiled politely, before reaching to take the old man's hand. Cal watched his father's face carefully and nodded at what he saw there.

"Yeah, she's beautiful, isn't she? But, she's at that age where she's chasing boys…"

"You mean they're chasing me." Emily corrected him. Thomas Lightman spluttered suddenly and it took Cal only a second to realise he was laughing. Cal nodded.

"Yeah, she's taking after me exactly," he joked and both Zoe and Gillian rolled their eyes. Zoe stepped in and placed her hand down on Thomas's hand just above where Emily's was.

"Hello Thomas" she said warmly and Cal watched carefully to decipher for her. He swallowed hard, wondering how to word this one.

"He says you get younger looking every time he sees you." Zoe smiled and squeezed his hand fondly. Cal watched his ex-wife and daughter making the briefest but ultimately last connection with his father. His eyes fell on Gillian then, slowly edging her way toward the door and he reached out to grab her back. She shook her head.

"This is a private moment Cal, I'm going to go." He shook his head.

"No. Come here." He guided her to the other side of the bed and his dad's eyes followed him.

"Dad, this Gillian, my partner." Cal noticed a flash of contempt in Zoe's face and a confused look in Gillian's but it was nothing compared to what he read in his father's face. He had to think again about how to word this.

"Something like that yeah," he answered his father's question quickly, not giving Gillian the chance to ask what he had asked. She simply glanced at Cal before reaching her hand onto Thomas's other hand.

"It's nice to meet you" she said warmly.

OXOXOXO

An hour later and the nurses had made Thomas Lightman comfortable for the night. Zoe and Emily were getting ready to leave, promising to be back in, in the morning. Gillian hadn't moved from the room. She was standing by the doorway. Zoe hugged Cal first before leaving him to talk to Emily. She walked to the doorway and looked back in at Thomas. Then she turned to Gillian.

"I'm sure I don't need to ask this but, keep an eye on him, will you?" Gillian watched Zoe's face carefully, no signs of contempt, irritation or anything like that, just genuine worry for her ex-husband and Gillian nodded.

"Of course I will." Emily joined both women at the door, her eyes slightly red.

"I'm ready to go" she said and Zoe nodded to Gillian before she and her daughter walked out the door. Gillian turned back to Cal, who was sitting watching his father again. Taking a deep breath, she sat down next to him and laced her fingers into his.

OXOXOXO

"What did your father ask when you introduced me to him?" she asked suddenly, the thought just then occurring to her. Cal twisted his head to look at her.

"You should go home luv. Get some sleep." Gillian tilted her head.

"Avoidance Cal." He bit his lip and turned his chair to face her.

"It was, it was a question I wasn't sure of the answer to so I was vague. And I couldn't decipher in front of Zoe and Em so I, I deflected. Kind of." Gillian leaned back in her chair, squeezing his hand. Cal squeezed back, glancing back at the bed.

"He asked if you were my life partner." Cal finally said, nonchalant as if it was no big deal. Gillian looked at him, thinking back to his answer – _something like that, yeah._ Smiling warmly, she stood up, pulling him to his feet.

"Come on, you should get some rest." He shook his head.

"I'm staying. But you should go. You've been here nearly as long as I have." She shook her head.

"I told Zoe I'd keep an eye on you." Cal looked at her, an expression of disbelief on his face that she had spoken to his ex-wife at all.

"I just want to stay a little longer. Honestly go home and I'll see you tomorrow." Gillian stepped in closer to him.

"Give me your keys." Off his look she continued, "Number one, you're way too tired to drive. Number two, I'm not leaving you alone so I'll be in your house, whenever you get home." Their eyes caught and Gillian saw pure, untainted love in his eyes. This gesture meant a lot to him. As he pulled the car keys from his pocket, he kissed her sweetly, holding her with one arm for longer than he'd ever done before. As they broke Gillian stepped away from him.

"I'll see you later."

OXOXOXO

_Ok so apologies for the delay in updating but I seem to have got my muse back and hopefully I'll be more frequent with updates now that I have. As always R+R and thanks to those who have done already._


	14. Chapter 14

At around one am, Thomas Lightman stirred in his sleep, his eyes fluttering open, falling on the face of his son sitting quietly and wide awake next to his bed. Cal smiled up at him but it never reached his eyes. He stood up and moved to the side of the bed, sitting down on the edge. Twiddling his thumbs in his lap, Cal watched his fingers for a minute before looking up to his father's face.

"So you ready to tell me why you did it?" Thomas Lightman's face was completely still for a moment. Then slowly, he blinked and Cal took a deep breath.

OXOXOXO

Cal wasn't sure how to proceed. It was possibly the first time in his life that he wasn't sure what he was doing. Or at least the first time since he'd been a young, stupid 20 year old. He swallowed hard.

"Why'd you leave us dad?" he asked finally. Thomas Lightman closed his eyes for a moment – deep shame, Cal thought and somehow it didn't make him feel any better even though he thought it should have. His father looked away from him. More shame. For a moment, Cal seemed to forget that his father wouldn't be talking back to him and that the conversation was his to hold. He took a deep breath.

"Was it because of Mum's illness?" Thomas Lightman nodded his head once, his eyes closing again. Suddenly Cal thought back to what Zoe had said to him and he wondered if this was a good idea. If it was really fair. But then the questions in his mind overtook him.

"What about us? Did you not think that maybe we might have needed you with something like that going on?" Cal watched his father's face, reading fear in his eyes. He sighed. Of course he was afraid, they had all been afraid. He shook his head sadly.

"I know that. But we were all afraid. We all had to deal with it." On this note, Thomas Lightman's face took on a different reading and Cal knew exactly what was going on in his head.

"I dealt with it in my own way. I had to do it that way, even if you didn't approve. It didn't matter what you thought, you were already gone. And we wouldn't even be able to have this bloody conversation if I hadn't dealt with it the way I did!" Thomas Lightman closed his eyes again, letting out a loud sigh. Cal realised sleep was beginning to descend on him again. He reached forward, catching his dad's hand, watching as the man's eyes reopened. He pursed his lips before looking his dad in the eye.

"I don't condone what you did to us. We needed you and you weren't there. But…I've done the same to you the last few years. And despite the fact that you've never apologised for what happened…two wrongs don't make a right. Which I suppose, means that, this will always be wrong, we will both always have been wrong on this. But, for what's it worth, I'm sorry. And, I forgive you." As Cal closed his eyes, he felt his father's hand tighten around his and he pursed his lips again, this time as a reactor to try and stop his eyes from welling up. He stood up.

"I'll be back in, in the morning. Get some sleep." He smiled briefly before picking up his coat and exiting the room. Thomas Lightman lay static for a moment before slowly, he reached across and pushed the button for his nurse.

OXOXOXO


	15. Chapter 15

Cal paid for his cab and quickly located the spare key under his flower pot by the door. He was exhausted and the lack of light in his house told him that Gillian had in fact gone to her own house. He somehow felt lonely and empty even though he had wanted her to go to her own house.

He slowly climbed the stairs, dropping his jacket over the banister and kicking his shoes off at the top of the stairs. Slipping into the bathroom he brushed his teeth and did the usual pre-bedtime ritual. He looked at himself in the mirror as he splashed water over his face. He'd never been one to get preoccupied with his looks before but he thought he looked ten years older after the day he'd had. Closing his eyes, he splashed another handful of water on his face before turning to head for bed. He would have to be up again in a few hours.

OXOXOXO

The door creaked as he walked through and Gillian Foster woke immediately, reaching out to turn on the bedside light. Cal yelped as the light came on and he jumped back into the hallway.

"Jesus Christ, you nearly gave a bloody heart attack" he said, his pulse racing at a hundred miles an hour. Gillian sat up in the bed.

"I'm sorry. You knew I was here." He shook his head as he walked into the room, opening a drawer for pyjamas.

"I thought you'd gone home when I didn't see any lights on." He pulled out a pair of pyjama pants and a t-shirt before closing the drawer, standing uncomfortably.

"How's your dad?" she asked suddenly, stepping out of the bed to walk around to him. If he hadn't been so exhausted he'd have been blown away by the sight of her in one of his shirts, a white striped one that he hadn't worn since he was about 30. It was probably why she had taken it instead of any of the others and god did it look better on her than it had done on him. Pulling his eyes away from her body he looked at her face.

"Asleep for the night. I uh, I had a bit of a talk with him, despite what Zoe said." Gillian nodded, slipping her arms around his waist.

"How do you feel?" She knew things weren't rosy in the Lightman garden but she didn't want to pry so asking in this way was better. He took a deep breath.

"You know, not as satisfied as I think I should feel. I always got this impression that we'd talk things out and afterwards I'd feel much better, like a weight lifting off me. But it doesn't feel like that. If anything it feels heavier." His eyes, Gillian noted, seemed dead and she tightened her grasp around him as his hands came onto her back. He kissed her hair before pulling away and moving towards the door.

"I'm sorry I woke you." He pulled open the door and Gillian stopped him.

"Where are you going?" Cal looked at her, pointing in the general direction of the hallway and spluttering.

"I thought…" Gillian shook her head, walking over and closing the door gently.

"Come on." She lead him over to the bed, climbing back in and over to the side she'd been sleeping on., He sat down on the edge of the bed but fatigue seemed to be paralysing him as he couldn't bring himself to undress. Gillian sat forward and started to unbutton his shirt, pulling it back over his shoulders and tossing it to the end of the bed.

"Come on, Cal. You need to sleep." Her voice seemed to pull him back to reality and he reached down to unbuckle his jeans before pulling the pair of pyjama bottoms on. The feel of her hands on his shoulders caused him to sigh and he reached one hand up to rest over hers. Smiling sadly, she leaned forward and kissed the back of his neck as he pulled he hand around his neck and placed a kiss to her palm.

The feeling of his lips on her hand caused Gillian to smile into the skin at the back of his neck. He turned in his seat to face her, his hands flat on the mattress, holding him up. Gillian caught his face in her hands and kissed his forehead soflty. Her lips lingered for a moment before she broke away. He opened his eyes to look at her, their eyes catching in a deadlock neither was able to break. Then he leaned forward and kissed her, a desperate, needy and uncontrolled kiss. His hands fell to her hips, pushing her back on her back in the bed as he clambered forward to take position on top of her.

Gillian was no stranger to grieving practices. Cal's was fairly standard – cling to the nearest emotional being and unload on them. When she thought about it, that was quite a crude way of describing it but it was the general idea. What she wasn't sure was whether this was the best way for Cal to deal with what was happening in his head. Just as she was about to say something, he pulled away from her, rubbing his hands over his face as he lay back on his back beside her.

"I'm sorry luv. I just…I, sorry." He moved to swing his legs out of the bed but Gillian stopped him, a calming hand on his shoulder. He turned his head back to her and her lips met his in a much sweeter kiss. He closed his eyes to it, welded them shut in fact. As they broke, they remained shut. Gillian leaned up and kissed each eyelid before kissing his lips again and lying back down, pulling him with her.

"I'm here Cal. Whatever you need, I'm here." Cal looked down at her, shifting his legs back into bed under the covers.

"I think I need to sleep," he said, letting his head fall unceremoniously to the pillow next to hers. She smiled and kissed his cheek softly.

"Then we'll sleep." She wrapped an arm and leg over him and pretty soon, both were dead to the world.

OXOXOXO


	16. Chapter 16

Gillian woke the next morning to the feel of Cal's arms wrapped tightly around her. She could feel his breath on the back of her neck and as she leaned back into it, his lips connected with her skin and she shivered involuntarily. Glancing up at the clock next to her she saw that it was 6:30. She didn't know what time his alarm was set for but she wasn't looking forward to hearing it. For what it was worth Cal seemed to be out cold behind her which was good because he needed his sleep. He'd been so pitiable last night, so broken and exhausted.

She let her hand trail down onto the one he held across her stomach and she squeezed it gently. A satisfied sigh erupted from his lips and she felt his lips on her neck again. But this time it didn't seem so accidental. And when the second kiss landed Gillian knew he was awake.

"Do you always wake so early?" she whispered, smiling at his contact. She felt the bed shift next to her and the presence of him as he leaned over her to place a kiss to her cheek.

"Only when there's a beautiful woman in my bed." He smirked down at her and she turned her head to catch his kiss. Gently he pulled her body back towards him, turning her so she lay on her back and he towered over her, one of his legs sifting in between her two. His hands moved to her hips as he kissed her again, this time pulling her with him so she straddled him. Gillian laughed as he sat up to look her in the eye.

"Are you always so energetic in the morning?" she asked nipping his lips, running her hand down his back.

"See answer to previous question," he replied cheekily, his hands roaming down her back. She smiled, catching his face in her hands and kissing him again. He smiled up at her before lying back down, pulling her into his arm with him.

"Sorry about, you know, getting a bit…forceful last night." Gillian didn't need to look up to hear the shame and nervousness in his voice. But she did and she smiled warmly at him, kissing the corner of his mouth.

"You didn't. You're under a lot of stress Cal. The natural reaction is to cling to whatever's nearest. I'm just glad it's me." He looked at her, his face unreadable then he shook his head.

"What did I do to deserve you?" She chuckled as she rested her head on his chest, stroking his stomach lightly with the tips of her fingers.

"Oh please, we're as bad as each other."

"Or as good." He wiggled his eyebrows at her and she smirked. The warmth of him wrapped around her made it impossible to stay awake and soon she was fast asleep on his chest. Cal lay awake, eyes fixed on the ceiling, his hand absently stroking her hair. He couldn't get back to sleep.

OXOXOXO

Gillian moaned as she felt the mass of warmth moving away from her. Reaching her arm out she tried to hold onto it but received only the feel of a strong hand on her arm pushing her back, but squeezing her hand before disappearing completely.

When she opened her eyes Cal was gone.

OXOXOXO

_Ok so I've taken a while to churn this out and it's short but hopefully I'll get my mojo working and get the rest done now. It's almost finished I think!_


	17. Chapter 17

Gillian made her way to the kitchen, padding barefoot down the stairs and hoping that no one had called in unexpectedly considering she was still in Cal's shirt and her underwear. But there was no noise, no sign of movement in the house and Gillian immediately felt apprehensive. Making her way into the kitchen, she found a piece of paper on the counter:

_Got a call from the hospital. Didn't want to wake you. See you soon._

He didn't sign it off but she knew his writing. Nodding her head, she turned and headed back upstairs. She would have to go home for clothes before heading to the hospital. She made a quick call to Torres before leaving to ensure everything was still functioning in the office. It was. Now she had to make sure everything was functioning in its owner.

OXOXOXO

Cal Lightman was confused. He'd come in to the hospital early. As soon as he got the call. But when he got to his father's room, he was gone. His yells managed to draw nurses from around both corners and eventually the head nurse stepped into the room with him and closed the door.

"What's going on here? I got a call to come in and I came straight away. Where's my dad?" Cal could feel his voice rising but he couldn't help it. It was panic, he knew. Panic and a little bit of guilt, shame, sadness, anger, everything that could possibly be thrown at him. The nurse held up a hand to calm him and it took every ounce of restraint for him not to slap it back down again.

"Mr Lightman, I'm very sorry. We called you this morning because your father's heart-rate was starting to weaken but we didn't expect he would leave us so briskly. The doctor thinks he may have suffered a small heart attack but a post-mortem will be conclusive. I'm very sorry for your loss Mr Lightman." Cal didn't really hear anything after that. He felt a shiver run down his back and a constriction around his throat. It was only that thought which brought him back to focus on the nurse.

"Did he, did he say anything? You know when the tube came out?" The nurse swallowed and stopped herself from biting her top lip. She'd heard someone saying this guy was a human lie detector so she had to really watch herself with how she spoke to him. Evidently though she'd already done something to alert him to the fact she'd hoped to avoid telling.

"He was already dead." Cal filled in for her and she nodded.

"I'm very sorry sir. He did leave a note for you. He placed it in an envelope and left it beside the bed." She pointed over at the brown envelope addressed simply 'Cal' in large capital letters before exiting the room, closing the door over to give him some privacy.

Cal took a deep breath and walked to the bedside table. Picking up the envelope, he sat down on the bed and carefully opened the envelope. Biting his lip, he began to read.

OXOXOXO

Somehow Gillian knew something was wrong before she'd even walked out of the elevator. She had a feeling in her gut. She'd rushed home, grabbed a five minute shower and changed into the most casual yet respectful looking clothes she could find. But now something in the back of her head was telling her she should have been here sooner.

When she reached the door and found it closed, she knew her gut had been right. Knocking softly, she pushed open the door to find Cal sitting in the bedside chair. But the bed was empty. She swallowed hard and walked into the room, shutting the door behind her.

He looked up when he saw her.

"Hello darling." She took a breath. He was trying to act indifferent. That was always bad. That was what he did whenever she introduced a new boyfriend or when Alec used to visit the office. She walked over and pulled a chair next to his. She sat down and let her hand settle on his. They remained silent for a minute before Cal spoke.

"You playing the shrink on me?" Gillian shook her head.

"No. But I will if you want me to." Cal shook his head then.

"No. His heart rate weakened about seven this morning. They think he had a mini heart attack in the process and they couldn't resuscitate him. It was quick in the end." Gillian squeezed his hand and he twisted it so their fingers clasped tightly together. They were silent again for a moment before, once again, Cal broke it.

"He wrote me a letter." Gillian looked at him and he pulled the envelope out of his jacket pocket, handing it to her. She hesitated as she took it.

"Cal, if this is private…" Cal shook his head and made a motion with his hand to allow her to read. Gillian loosened her hand from his grip to unfold the piece of paper. Despite his mobility issues, Thomas Lightman's penmanship was admirable. Taking a deep breath she read:

_Cal_

_I know it's a bit late now to do this. There's that conventional concept 'too little, too late'. But you've never been conventional Cal and I hope for my sake you haven't started now._

_A conversation without words is not a conversation at all, despite what you might see communicated in my eyebrows. But word of mouth I don't have. So I'm writing this to tell you that I'm sorry._

_I can't excuse what I did and I wouldn't expect anyone to do so. I was cowardly and I left it all on you. It wasn't fair. If I could go back, I don't know if I would have done anything differently because when all is said and done, I'm a weak man. But I like to think that while I failed you all at such a crucial moment, I wasn't a total disaster up to that point. That verdict is yours to decide._

_You have a wonderful daughter. I'm sorry I didn't know her better, and for __that__I forgive __you__. You have three wonderful women in your life and I hope you take good care of them all, do what I couldn't._

_As for your science, six years in the jungle appear to have trained you well. You read everything off my face last night, except one thing. You're my son, always were and always will be and I love you. Seeing what you've become has made me a proud dying man._

_Goodbye_

_Dad_

Gillian swallowed hard as she finished reading. As she folded the letter back into the envelope, she handed it back to him and slipped her hand into his again.

"I can see where you got your way with words," she joked and it drew a laugh from him. He shook his head, sitting forward, elbows on his knees, still holding her hand in his. He clenched his eyes shut but that only served to make his eyes feel heavier than they were. Sitting back, he stood up, pulling her with him.

"I've got to get out of here." She nodded and allowed him to guide her from the room out into the corridor.

OXOXOXO


	18. Chapter 18

The next couple of days passed in a blur for Cal. Zoe made all the funeral arrangements and Cal called any of his remaining family that he thought should know. The vast majority of them were in England and by the time the night before the funeral came he really had no idea how many people were coming. He had already decided that the service would be very simple, no speeches or anything like that. He felt it would be a lie for him to stand on the podium and pontificate.

He'd managed to see very little of Gillian since they'd left the hospital that morning. He knew she was giving him space, giving him his space with Emily and Zoe. She didn't mind but she found herself missing him. She'd gone back to work for the two days prior to the funeral to make sure everything was running smoothly. As it turned out, Torres and Loker had managed to solve a pretty tricky case together and the company, were it not shrouded in sympathy for Cal, would have been celebrating a pretty high profile success.

OXOXOXO

Cal didn't like to think he needed her. He didn't like to think he'd become so co-dependent in such a short space of time but he had. As he sat in his living room flicking through the TV stations, his good black suit hanging menacingly on the door behind it, he realised that he missed her dreadfully. He'd barely had time to breathe for the last few days but now that he did, it was the only thing he could think of. Zoe had taken Emily home for the night, after his insisting that he didn't need them to stay.

He contemplated going over to her house but realised that it would be the final straw. Plus, it was after midnight and she would be asleep. Sighing, he flicked the station on the TV. There really was nothing on.

OXOXOXO

Gillian Foster had always looked good in black. But it was usually a little black dress and not a full blown suit for a funeral. She smoothed down the jacket in the mirror before grabbing her keys and bag. She was collecting Torres and Loker, who suspiciously had offered to be at Torres house for handiness. Gillian was happy that they had made that arrangement. While she knew no one could question her place there, not even Zoe, she hated going alone to these things and at least having the others there would make her feel less of a solitary figure.

OXOXOXO

It was a small funeral. Cal soon realised that the English relatives were very scarce. Two uncles had made the journey and an aunt from his mother's side whom his father had always liked. The rest of the crowd was made up of friends Thomas Lightman had made when he came to America and, Cal noted, a considerable number of his staff. The priest kept the service short and sweet, just as Cal had instructed and before he knew it, he was helping the other pall bearers to shoulder the coffin out into the graveyard. Gillian gave him a nod as he passed by and he caught her eye as he took a deep breath before walking on. Gillian lowered her head and waited as the congregation passed them by.

OXOXOXO

Cal stared at his hand where he knelt. He stayed stock still until he felt the hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Zoe looking down at him, nodding her head. He stood up and watched as they shovelled earth down onto the coffin. He took a deep breath before making his way aside to greet sympathisers. Gillian watched his movement and knew that he'd rather be anywhere else. She, Loker and Torres hung back and let the others go ahead of them.

"What do you say to him?" Torres asked suddenly. It was the age old question at funerals. What can you possibly say to the people left? Gillian turned around as they made their way towards Cal.

"You say 'Sorry for your loss' and move on." She stopped herself, "You don't say the 'move on' part." Torres smirked and nodded her head.

"I'd figured." Gillian was about to turn back again when something struck her, something about the way Loker and Torres were standing. Close to one another which, in itself was a sign of nothing but there was something about them that alerted her. Shaking her head, she ignored it and walked on, following the other sympathisers. Behind her, Torres and Loker looked a bit worried.

As Gillian reached the top of the crowd, she glanced back to see that a vast majority of the mourners had cleared off back to cars and transport systems. She saw Cal's eyes light up momentarily as she approached. She trailed her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek as she did.

"This is hard, Gill," he whispered in her ear. She smiled sadly.

"I know. But you're nearly through it." She pulled back from him, one hand on his elbow, the other on his cheek. He looked at the ground.

"Am I?" She nodded, lowering her other hand to his other elbow.

"If you need me," she said simply and he smiled, their little exchange warming his heart. Gillian quickly moved on and sympathised with Zoe and Emily, pulling the latter into a tight embrace. Loker and Torres followed Gillian, not willing to get left behind for too long. The three were making their way back to the car park when Gillian felt a hand on her arm, pulling her back. Turning, she saw Emily. In the background, Cal was talking to Zoe, his hands doing a lot of the conversing.

"Dad said you guys are to come back to his house for refreshments." She looked a bit confused by it all. Gillian nodded.

"We'll be there."

OXOXOXO

By about 9 o'clock that night, Gillian had met everyone in Cal's home while Loker and Torres had filled Cal in about the case they'd solved in his absence. Gillian had had a conversation with Emily about boys, the latest of whom was present and was, Gillian had to admit, a complete gentleman. She had said so to Zoe.

"Emily knows how to pick them," she said as she filled herself a glass of water in the kitchen. Zoe smiled.

"I'm not sure who she got that skill from." Zoe replied, stifling a laugh and Gillian joined in.

"He's a nice boy." She continued and Zoe agreed. They were silent for an uncomfortable moment and Gillian was about to make an excuse to get her out of there when Zoe spoke again.

"He's really, he's taking this hard. He doesn't show it. Or maybe he does, maybe he does and I just can't see it. But you can. You can see it, and I know it. I guess between us, it's a 100% deduction." Gillian nodded, taking a sip from her glass.

"He never really lets anything show." Gillian said without thinking but Zoe didn't seem to notice what she was implying.

"Don't I know it." Gillian bit her bottom lip between her teeth and took another mouthful of her water. Zoe turned to her.

"You don't live with Cal Lightman and not learn some things. I might not have his gift but there are some things even a blind man could see." She trailed off and Gillian felt the worry course through her veins. Where was Zoe going with this? Before she had the chance to respond, Zoe spoke again.

"Look after him." She said, offering a polite smile before slinking away to talk to one of the uncles in the far corner. Gillian stood flabbergasted for a moment, the closest thing to a friendly conversation she'd ever had with Zoe.

OXOXOXO

When Gillian re-entered the living room she spotted Cal excusing himself from Torres and Loker, and making his way over to her. He held two fingers up and she raised her eyebrows.

"Two things yeah? One, those two are sleeping together. And two, they should do it more often because from what they been telling me, they absolutely nailed that cheating senator they were working on." Gillian stifled a laugh and grinned at him, simultaneously shaking her head. He was trying to make light of the situation, though both of his assumptions she suspected were completely right. Her hand fell to his arm.

"How are you holding up?" she asked softly and he nodded, stepping in closer to her.

"To be honest, I'd be better if I could get everyone out of my bloody house." It sounded like a joke but Gillian knew he wasn't joking. He was a private person and she knew that the social aspect of this gathering was grinding at him.

"Do you want us to start making a move? Maybe the rest will get the picture?" He shook his head.

"No, you're not going anywhere. I need my shrink at a time like this. You can tell Torres and Loker to piss off alright…" he joked and Gillian swatted him in the shoulder, shaking her head.

"Oi oi. Think I'm about to lose two. Better have some manners and show them out. I'll be back." He smiled and dashed past her to one of the uncles pulling on his coat. Gillian watched him for a minute then made her way back over to Torres and Loker who were chatting quietly. They looked up when they saw her approaching. Gillian spotted nervousness in both of their faces. She decided to let it go. She wasn't in the mood to interrogate right now.

OXOXOXO


	19. Chapter 19

It was after midnight by the time everybody left Cal's house and Gillian could tell that he ran the risk of getting very ratty indeed. Loker and Torres had been the last to leave, along with Emily's boyfriend. He sat now on his couch, legs outstretched, arms crossed, yawning. In the kitchen Zoe, Gillian and Emily were loading glasses and cups into the dishwasher. Gillian suddenly felt the need to leave, felt like she was invading a very personal space. She finished loading the dishwasher with the other two before making her way back into the sitting room, picking up her jacket. Cal watched her.

"What are you doing?" She swallowed.

"I'm going to…" She didn't get to finish as Zoe and Emily came back into the room, Emily pulling her coat around her. Cal stood up.

"You two off?" Zoe nodded.

"Yeah. This one still has school in the morning." She said in a mock authoritative tone. Cal nodded and followed them to the door. He gave a Emily a bear hug and kiss before kissing Zoe politely on the cheek and hugging her tight.

"I'll call you tomorrow. See how you are." She smiled sadly and he nodded.

"Thanks." He watched them until they were safely in the car before closing over the door and returning to the sitting room.

OXOXOXO

As he reached the sofa, exhaustion overtook him and he plonked down on it, a yawn breaking from his mouth as he did. He looked up at Gillian where she stood by the fireplace.

"Come here," he said, raising an arm for her to slot into. Smiling she obliged and let him pull her close to him.

"Long day, huh?" she said, kicking her heels onto the ground so she could tuck her feet under herself. He nodded, his hand playing with her hair.

"You staying here tonight?" he asked in response. She didn't look up.

"If you want me to." He closed his eyes.

"I always want you to." She smiled at this and could feel sleep beginning to overtake her. Glancing up she saw it had already had with Cal. She stood up and pulled at his hand. He opened his eyes slowly.

"Come on. You need to sleep." He nodded and allowed her to pull him up into a standing position. Then he followed her as she guided him up the stairs.

OXOXOXO

_Little short chapter there leading into what will be the final one -20 seems a good number to end on. It'll probably be a long one!_


	20. Chapter 20

Cal was enjoying the feel of her hand on his back, stroking from the base of his neck down his spine to the small of his back. He was lying on his front with the side of his face cemented into the pillow, one arm under him, the other stretched out, his hand hanging out of the bed. He moaned in appreciation as the hand slid into this hair and ruffled it before kneading his shoulder muscles.

"Oh god luv, don't stop doing that," he murmured, struggling to manoeuvre his other arm out from beneath him. As if he had turned a switch, her movements ceased. He waited, hoping she was just taking a breather but nothing more happened.

"Oi! I thought I told you NOT to stop…" he said, turning over onto his side to face her. She was pretending to be asleep but there was no misreading the hideously triumphant smirk she wore on her face. He shook his head.

"Oh luv, even asleep, you're a terrible liar." He grinned as she refused to open her eyes. Slowly, he edged himself closer to her, one hand snaking onto her hip to pull her to him. Her smirk grew even wider as she felt him against her.

"Well Cal, considering I'm not even looking at you, your body language is telling me an awful lot." She grinded herself against him and finally opened he eyes as she heard his sharp intake of breath.

"Hi" she said as their eyes met and he pulled her to him for a good morning kiss.

"Hello darling"

OXOXOXO

They managed to be late for work that morning because Cal insisted that they 'work' through the alarm. After he'd had to pause his actions for the third snooze buzzer, he shimmied across the bed, leaned down and yanked it out of the socket before continuing his exploration of his partner's body.

After that, Gillian had insisted he help her wash her hair, resulting in the sloppiest hair wash known to man and another 40 minutes added to their accumulating lateness. Everyone in the office knew what was going on of course. Loker and Torres had managed to discreetly let it slip to one or two people, who then let it slip everywhere else. Cal doubted there anyone left in DC who didn't know at this stage. But he really didn't care who knew or what they thought. If anything the fact that everyone knew made it easier to sneak his moments with Gillian. Anytime anyone saw him or Gillian heading towards each other, they disappeared, meaning they could risk sneaky kisses here and there. They were yet to risk anything more but Cal was working on her.

At around 3 o'clock that afternoon, Gillian strolled casually into his office where he was sitting reading through some research instead of finishing off the paperwork she had unloaded on him that morning. When he saw her he quickly thumbed open a file and pretended to read it. Gillian walked around the desk and clicked a button on his mouse to reveal his research. She looked down at him.

"Cal!" He winced.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just, I hate paperwork ok?" He moaned, his hand reaching up to grab the inside of her knee pulling her closer to him. She wasn't biting.

"Cal, I hate paperwork too but I do it. It has to be done. Same goes for yours." He nodded his head.

"I know, I know but, it's just so bloody boring! I think I need some kind of…incentive…" he smirked at her, licking his lips so unsubtly that even a blind man could have read his expression. She smirked and leaned back against his desk.

"Like what? A kind of 'if you do all your homework, I'll buy you an ice cream'?" She smirked and he grinned at her choice of metaphor.

"Actually I was hoping for something to wrap my tongue around, yeah." He watched her eyes as he said that bit and sure enough, saw them darken just a tad as she thought about what he said. Perfect.

"In a minute. Are you going to the grave for the month anniversary tonight?" she asked quietly and he nodded his head.

"Yeah. Emily's coming here after school and we're going to go after work." Gillian nodded her head. Cal's thumb stroked across her knee and she felt a slight shiver rush through her. He looked up at her.

"I want you to come with us." The sentence took her by surprised but she found herself nodding and she would reflect later that her lack of contemplation on such a subject was a yardstick as to how in love she was with this man.

"Ok." She nodded her head and let her hand fall on his hair, ruffling it good humouredly. She turned to leave when he called her again.

"Emily's staying with me tonight, her mum's in Chicago." Gillian turned back to face him. Emily still didn't know about their relationship. Any night she'd been there, Gillian had imposed banishment on herself and slinked back to her cold, grey apartment. She was just about to speak but he beat her to it.

"I want you to stay in mine as well. I think it's time we told Em what's going on." He bit his top lip between his teeth as he waited for her reaction to that. She walked back over to him and leaned down to kiss him softly.

"Of course I'll stay," she said, smiling at him, delighted that everything seemed to be falling into place. She straightened up and was about to move away again when she felt his hands on the back of her knees. He jerked them suddenly and her knees gave away so that she was leaning on his chair, between his legs for support. He looked up at her, his wicked grin lighting up his face, the feral look exciting her to the point that she wondered could they just draw the blinds on the door and hope no one heard.

"What about my incentive?" he said, his thumbs stroking the skin on her legs again. Gillian smirked and leaned forward so that her lips were next to his ear.

"I'm not wearing underwear," she whispered, before regaining her composure and walking out of the room, leaving him staring after her, confused, but very turned on.

OXOXOXO

Emily didn't seem nonplussed by Gillian's accompanying them to the graveyard. She didn't notice Gillian squeeze her father's hand as she placed a wreath on the grave. It was a sombre but dignified practice. No body said anything until they got back to the car.

Gillian knew Cal was still dealing with the death of his father. Obviously. The fact that they hadn't been close probably made it that much more difficult. But she knew she had to let him figure it out for himself.

After the graveyard, Cal insisted that they go for dinner someplace nice. Gillian smiled when he pulled up outside the restaurant he had taken her to after her divorce with Alec had been finalised. He'd walked into her office to see her staring lifelessly at the final papers. He'd known straight away what they were and what was going through her head. Why me? What's wrong with me? What did I do wrong? Why did he stray? He'd hauled her up out of her chair straight away, brought her to dinner and they'd gotten drunk together and told stories of their exes being off their rocker and that they were better off without them. He'd never been sure if he'd been any help to her that night but when he jokingly handed her the 'divorce present' the next day, she had smirked and passed it on without getting stroppy. She had nice memories of this restaurant.

After dinner, Gillian and Emily ordered desert while Cal simply had coffee and watched the two important girl in his life ooh and aah over messy chocolate concoctions. He smirked as he watched them and Gillian saw it straight away, a rare let down of his guard, a genuinely happy smile, crinkles around the eyes, the whole lot and she returned it. This moment, Emily didn't miss. But she said nothing.

OXOXOXO

Cal let Gillian and Emily step in ahead of him as he held the door. The two girls made their way through to the living room, plonking down on the sofa and sighing contentedly after their fill of chocolate cake. Cal passed through into the kitchen. Gillian heard glasses clink and she knew he was going for the wine that they'd failed to drink here two nights ago when the bottle was lucky to be placed on the table before Cal dragged her off upstairs. She smiled at the memory. They hadn't made the bedroom and she was surprised the next morning to find that she didn't have a staircase shape moulded into her back.

Cal came back into the living room placing down the glasses and the wine on the table before planting himself down next to Gillian to pour the wine. Emily had positioned herself on the armchair facing the couch and looked about ready to fall asleep right there. Cal looked up at her.

"Want a taste Em?" he teased. She made a face and shook her head. Cal poured two glasses and handed hers to Gillian, her hand connecting with his as she took it. Then he sat back letting his arm drape across the back of the couch, behind Gillian's head. He took a sip of his wine before looking across at his daughter.

"Luv, there's something I've got to tell you. Gillian and I…"

"…Are a couple." Emily finished for them and Cal looked a bit taken aback.

"Uh, yeah. How'd you know?" Emily raised her eyes to heaven.

"Oh please, I'm not stupid Dad. I saw you two looking at each other during dinner, I thought you were going to start making out right there in the restaurant. And anyway, it's not like I didn't see it coming." Cal nodded his head, a bit lost now as regards what to say next. Gillian stepped in for him.

"Emily, if you have any problem with it, you know that…" Emily shook her head and looked at her dad.

"I so don't have a problem with it. Maybe now you'll stop sleeping with Mom every chance you get." Cal's eyes widened and his mouth opened in shock. He glanced at Gillian, somehow the look managed to convey an 'it hasn't happened in months' expression and she smiled a reassurance at him. He turned back to his daughter.

"Ok, number one, that hasn't happened in…months. Number two, you're grounded. Number three, you're sure you're ok?" Emily smiled at his prioritisation of facts. She nodded her head as she stood up.

"Totally Dad." She leaned forward to give him a hug and instinctively also hugged Gillian who smiled at the girl's kindness. The two adults watched as she made her way to the stairs. She turned back just as she reached them.

"Just don't wake me up when you two go to bed." She said before disappearing upstairs. Cal waited until he heard her door click before he breathed a huge sigh of relief, pulling his arm around her and crushing her to him.

"Well that went well. Apart from the extreme inappropriateness of my daughter's responses," he added, taking a sip of his wine. Gillian smirked.

"She was just trying to put you on the spot."

"Well it worked!" Gillian laughed and leaned in to kiss him softly. He leaned forward and put his glass down on the table, letting his hand come back to her face, pushing her hair back behind her ear. His other hand found its way down to her knee, just below the lining of her skirt. He broke their kiss and glanced down.

"Time to find out if my incentive was worth doing all that paperwork for." He grinned as he slid his hand up along the inside of her thigh. Gillian's eyes closed at the feel of his hand, especially as he reached her centre which was, as promised, unclothed. She heard him moaning into her neck.

"Oh you're too good to me…" he said, catching her lips in his as the movement of his fingers caused her to jerk into his hand. Her hand shot to his and stilled any further movement he'd been contemplating. He looked at her.

"I think it's time to move somewhere more comfortable."

"Do you think you can be quiet enough not to wake my daughter?" He grinned as she stood above him. She shook her head.

"No, but I'll give it a try."

OXOXOXO

Almost two hours later, they were both spent and wrapped in each others embrace, Gillian yawning at random intervals and Cal catching the end of each one with a kiss, determined to keep her awake for a little longer. They lay on their sides facing each other and every so often he would pull her closer to him and run his hand down her spine causing her to shiver at the touch. He watched her as she struggled with sleepiness until finally he knew there was only one way to keep her awake.

"You know I've always loved you, don't you?" Her eyes had been half closed but they sprung open on this note. She stared at him for a moment, taking in his facial expression, his eyebrow twitches, everything else. She noticed him swallow as she watched him. It was his response to her scrutinising him. Finally she leaned forward and kissed him.

"Yeah I knew that," she grinned and he laughed in relief. She shook her head before looking at him again.

"I love you too. And have for a long time." It was Cal's turn to stare this time, to scrutinise her. She stared straight back at him until finally, imitating her, he said,

"Yeah I knew that." Laughing, she punched him playfully in the chest and he wrapped his arms around her pulling him on top of her. She pulled his hands off her.

"Cal, we have to get up for work in the morning. Remember work?" Cal grinned, looking up at her.

"I told Heidi not to expect either of us before 12 tomorrow," he smirked, as she sat up straight, looking down at him. He let himself enjoy the view.

"Did you now?"

"Yes I did." She raised an eyebrow as he sat up, his hands coming to her waist as he leaned in for a kiss.

"Speaking for me, Cal? A little possessive isn't it? I may have to punish you for that." She trailed her arms around his neck as he grinned again.

"Oh yeah? What's my punishment then?" Gillian pretended to think for a moment, arching her back away from him so he could kiss the spot between her breasts. As his lips hit her skin she straightened up again.

"As punishment, you have to…be my slave." She smiled as he looked at her, shaking his head.

"Oh no, that's not fair, that."

"Tough."

"You at least take it easy on me for a bit?" Gillian shook her head.

"No. I'm going to be very hard on you." As she said the word 'hard' she ground her hips against him and his mouth opened into the beginning of a moan. She did it again and his eyes fell shut. As she did it for the third time, he stilled her with his hands on her hips before flipping her onto her back and settling himself on top of her.

"I think you need to reread the Geneva Convention luv." He grinned down at her, licking his lips hungrily. She laughed under his touch but he silenced her with a kiss.

"Sssh…you'll wake Emily," he chastised. Gillian smiled up at him.

"Either we need to work on our noise pollution her she needs to buy ear plugs." Cal grinned at the forwardness of his usually so formal business partner. Kissing her again he quipped,

"I'll buy ear plugs tomorrow." With that he kissed her again, the only thing in both of their minds was each other.

**THE END**


End file.
